# 30 Just Begin...Again

Just Begin…Again

Artwork by: Patricia J. Mosca
Poem by: Royce Addington

JUST BEGIN...AGAIN

The most Sacred Place dwells within our Heart
Where Dreams are born and Secrets sleep
A mystical refuge of Darkness and Light
Fear and Conquest
Adventure and Discovery
Challenge and Transformation
Our Heart speaks for our Soul
Every moment while we are alive
Listen…as the whispering beat repeats
Be…gin Be…gin Be…gin
It’s really that simple
Just Begin Again


Today I am aware to be present. To breathe deeply and let my life today be present. Careful not to project to far to the past...careful not to project to far to the future. Today, I am aware to be present and face the sun of this day. To let the dreams of this day take me to flight. To stay present is often a difficult thing to do...we are usually in such a hurry to get to the tomorrow that we sometimes neglect the here and the now. Today, I am aware to be present...to float here in the freedom of the day...to loosen the spirits of yesterday and not project into tomorrow. Today, I am aware to be present...present in this beautiful day gifted to me. To collect my messages from within and gather them together. Today, I am aware to breathe and fly and then breathe some more..strong, deep, spiritual breaths that will allow me to experience this day to the fullest as I head toward my dreams.

LIFE IS GOOD!

(somehow post # 29 got lost in the switch...but it was there once!! LOL...it was about putting up my very small Christmas tree! LOL)

# 28 Venturing forward...

In 2006 I got on my "get known nationally now" tour...It was the year that I bravely put myself out there...I submitted articles and art work to national magazines...I had the great honor to be published in many of them...I also got rejection slips...but I did not quit because of them...I continued on in-spite of them...

Then some magazines started reaching out to me to contribute...how cool is that! By 2008 I had been published 16 different times in around 6 different magazines...some with just art work...but most of them had articles that ranged from 2 pages to 4 pages...I even had a blog that was highlighted in ARTFUL BLOGGING

By the time 2009 arrived I was deep into care giving for Michael and I let myself slip away from my art...from submitting...from myself.

BUT NO LONGER!

Today, I sent out a submission article...My first of many I hope to do again...however it is no longer my "get known nationally now" tour...but rather I am writing again because I have to...I have a voice that wants and needs to be heard...and I am no longer leaving myself by the side of the road....BECAUSE:
LIFE IS GOOD!

# 27 Sunday Gratitude

I am taking time today to look at all the blessings in my life...I am humbled by them...This has been a week of reflection about those blessings...With Thanksgiving being this week it causes one to actually look at and see how fortunate one is.

I have been making a conscious commitment to feel the gratitude...to honor it...to thank those who are in my life...to reach out and help another person...to show the love I feel for others by doing small acts of kindness...

By doing this I am feeling a huge connection to my life...I am not detached, but I am ever present in each day...I feel happy and content...I feel loved...and I am very aware that:

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 26 It's HERE!

It officially happened...BLACK FRIDAY marked its beginning...The Holiday season has arrived....IT'S HERE! Now mind you I have seen it in the stores since October! Seems to me that you can barely get to Halloween and the stores are decked out in there Christmas decorations...carols are playing in the background...

I MUST BE GETTING OLD!!!!!!!!

I remember the good old days when taking time to enjoy each holiday as a separate day was the proper thing to do! First you would take the time to MAKE your own costume for Halloween...grabbing things from your parent's closet to become a gypsy or a bum...grabbing a pillow case to use to collect your goodies...a time when people freely gave out cookies and popcorn balls and apples! Now people purchase mass made costumes and give out "healthy" granola bars...if they allow the kids to go out at all...

Then came Thanksgiving...taking days to prepare this feast! Everything home-made, with family coming from miles around...now there are store bought pies, and even turkey can be delivered to your home! NO cooking...or even going to a restaurant is preferred to cooking and cleaning up by many!

Santa always arrived the day after Thanksgiving...you saw him first on his float while watching the Macy's parade! It was then that the stores decorated for Christmas making the season come alive with color...picking out that special gift and wrapping it yourself. Now Santa is there before Thanksgiving, and you can order gifts over the net fully wrapped with a signed card attached!

Don't get me wrong...certainly I am not "BAH HUMBUGGING" Christmas...but the joy that it use to bring to me is waning...I am vowing this year to bring back the simple joy of the holiday...I will bake...I will make home-made gifts...I will sign my own cards...I will read the Night Before Christmas to my grandson...I will make it through the holiday without feeling stressed because I did not make it to Black Friday to get the "GOOD DEALS"...I vow to love a little deeper...smile a little more...sing more carols right out loud...and laugh a little longer. Because after all...

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 25 Corrective Lenses...

Most mornings I get out of bed...make my coffee...feed the cats..and come into the studio to do my morning affirmation and then to get on this machine! After which I make a mental list of things that I need to do. I can't say that I truly take notice of much else during this time...I certainly don't think of the things that I don't need to do...

WHAT?

Well, I know I don't need to make sure that the birds are singing...I don't need to make sure that the earth is spinning...I don't need to make sure that I am breathing...these things and many more take care of themselves, without me having to do anything at all! You know...Earthly things..
And then there are the man-made things that I don't have to think about...things that unless something goes wrong with it I rarely ever think about...heat and electricity...cable...internet...you know the things that make life SO much easier.

So this morning I am taking time to notice...and one of the big ones for me is my glasses! My whole world would be fuzzy without them...I would not be able to drive...or type here...or paint...or see the things I love in clear view...BUT someone invented corrective lenses and I am SO GRATEFUL to them. Today, I am going to take time to notice a little more of the things that surrounds me...knowing that once again I have a new day to play in...that gravity holds me in place...that the sun is shining...birds are singing and I am typing...and that my corrective lenses give me the ability to take this all in..Giving me the simple knowledge that...

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 24 Giving thanks...

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=WQ26144948
(turn on your sound!)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have so much to be thankful for...and that is what I am going to focus on today.

To often we all get caught up in the everyday routine of life that we overlook the things right in front of us that bring us joy...happiness...love. On Thanksgiving that is a day that we set aside time to STOP...LOOK...LISTEN to those things. However it only takes a few minutes every day to be thankful, I am taking those minutes every day...allowing the glass of life to be half full rather than half empty...I am sending my heart felt thanks for all who come here and read this blog, for the comments...for the support...for the reaching out...for the love I feel.

My Thanksgiving Day wish is that we all stop for a moment and think about some of the things, and people we are grateful for in our lives. Making a list in our heads or on paper. We each have so much to appreciate. When we take the time to acknowledge our many blessings, especially at this time of year, we utilize the power of gratitude in a way that benefits us and those around us in a profound way.

LIFE IS GOOD!

#23 Actions speak louder than words...

What we say and how we say things with our words carry a lot of weight, but it is our actions that bring those words to life. Everyone knows the saying..."Actions speak louder than words"...And many times the two do not line up...and it is then that I realize that it is easier to talk about doing something than it is to actually do it. Yesterday, I had to take a good look at my words and find the alignment between them and my actions.

I talk about my dreams...I dream about my dreams...but I also realize that it takes energy to bring those dreams into reality...and over the past year, even though some of my dreams have started to take shape, I have lost some faith in myself...And I realize that talk without action is a form of self-sabotage for me...

I discovered that my actions haven't really caught up with what I am saying I want for myself...So, I started to align my words with my actions...I am stepping forward with making my dream that has come into realization (my book that is coming out next year) even BIGGER by doing some of the things I feel are necessary to make it a success...

I continue on today with it...and tomorrow...and the next day...bringing it all to reality with each step...I am once again bringing together my actions and my words allowing my truth to be seen and heard!

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 22 Status Quo...

I have come to realize that I am one who really likes the status quo...Life as I know it!... CHANGE...well, not so much!! However, I also realize that change does happen and the status quo of life goes out the window, with or without my consent.
So WHY resist it??? It does me no good to...I can try not to have it happen...I can stomp my foot..try to do better...but in the end that doesn't really change anything and it works against me rather than for me.

Now mind you, I DO NOT, go about making changes at random...sometimes things just happen...somethings in life just change...and I know I have to stabilize and preserve myself in order to help myself survive and grow...
But the problem comes when I am attached to the status quo and I do not honor my growth...when I become comfortable even if the situation serves me no purpose...stunts me...or even knocks me down...

So...my question is how do I get the courage to challenge the comfort of the status quo?

I am finding that although there is pain involved with this...it can also be a bit liberating...letting go...allowing the flow...taking the risk...clearing out obstacles...Ah yes...the status quo...sometimes I just have to kiss it goodbye and trust that change IS going to lead me forward with my growth and happiness...

Today, I am trusting!

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 21 Late...

I am posting this late tonight...my day went by rapidly...but the biggest thing is that I must of moved the wrong way or done the wrong type of bending, but I was in a great deal of back pain...I am not much of a complainer really...but today, I seemed to be doing a lot of "oh my back" or "my back really hurts"...In the past I haven't done much about my aches and pains (a sure sign of aging!)...but today, I took my good mother's advice...took some Aleve and turned on the heating pad and laid down to rest!! Again, I rarely spend the day lounging around on the sofa...in and out of sleep, but today after doing the things I had to do...well...it just seemed the only thing to do to stop myself from complaining about my back...

AND GUESS WHAT!
I actually feel better...YES that is right...Mother does know best!! LOL Now maybe the next time I have a cold I will mix up a batch of her honey and lemon mixture to cure that cough!! Sometimes it takes age to realize that you should listen to your mothers advice!!

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 20 Education....

OK...I freely admit it...I did not go to college...I choose to become a mother at the tender age of 21...I freely choose it...adding another child 18 months later...and then I was divorced before I knew it...So, I choose a trade, I became a hair stylist in order to support my small family...

It seems to me, that I have a way of knowing what it is I need to know in order to travel through life...I styled hair for years and it was a creative and artistic expression...I then learned the art of custom picture framing which taught me to once again use my natural ability to match colorings and use my hands to build frames...and then FINALLY after many years I allowed myself to actually pick up paints and then ultimately use my thoughts to become writings...

So what have I learned from this way of life...I have learned that we can learn things by taking a course of study in an academic environment...we can go through experiences and we can learn from them...we can also gain knowledge through intuition, (a gift that I seem to have developed) BUT most of all I have learned that no one way is better than the other...

I was artistic at a very young age and I gravitated toward it...but for some reason this did not work well for others so I stopped...(actually I was a closet writer and artist!! never really exposing it to many people) I was not allowed to cultivate it as it was not the logical approach to knowing things...so I felt undervalued and misunderstood...It took me years to finally work my way out of this judgment.

I have learned that my life experiences...my common sense...has it own specialness...that even though a certain type of intelligence tends to be valued more than others, no way of knowing is better than another...Certainly if I wanted to be a Doctor..a Lawyer...than a formal education would of been the way I would of had to go...but I aspired to be a creative person...and now, years later, I am comfortable in that skin...and I realize that I have benefited not only from what I have learned...and how I have learned it...but I respect all the ways of learning...and I believe that we each follow a path that is completely right for no one but our self. I continue to learn as I grow...and I continue to expose myself more and more each day...and I continue to shock myself with the knowledge I have collected over the years...

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 19 Happy Heart...

My heart is happy today...and I am finding so many reasons to smile...

I just finished a short exercise for a friend who is writing a book..I wrote down 5
things I was grateful for...then quickly 5 more...a deep breath and then 5 more till I had 20 wonderful grateful things listed...showing me what truly makes my heart happy.

Happiness really is so easy when we allow it...it can come in just a few minutes...For me, it can come from the warmth of my first cup of coffee...the sun shining brightly on a crisp fall day...writing here...holding someones hand...laughing from my core...painting...daydreaming...or even the silence of the night...it comes especially when I am in the company of those my heart treasures...silly jokes...knowing all the words to a song...so many small moments that come at different times that I am enveloped in happiness.

Allowing myself to take the time to reflect on what makes my heart happy brightens my day...satisfies me....allows contentment to overtake me...

I am making happiness a priority...I am writing here every day...I have gotten out my paints...I touch and am touched by others...and I am finding that I always have something wonderful to smile about...and my heart is happy!

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 18 Reflection Friday...

I have been spending time this week in thought...thoughts about my past...my present and perhaps even my future...Thoughts that have run the scale of emotions... and I am walking forward with the realization that the more I focus on the positive things...the more positive I feel.

I have laid myself bare at moments...and I have also allowed such happiness to enter that I could burst with joy...I have seen the goodness that is in my soul and I have felt the anger...my attitude and my behavior this week has come from some unresolved issues...but my happiness has come directly from my heart...

Today, as I reflect on this week, I feel humbled...my eyes feel open...my heart feels full...Today, I venture forward with a loving respect for myself and others...a nurturing compassion...and I am allowing the goodness of life to fill me up.

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 17 Untitled...

Did I cheat yesterday by coping a poem here instead of putting down my thoughts?
My thoughts were muddled yesterday morning...November is a difficult month for me...It is full of deep seeded memories from my past that surface every year...and this year is no exception.

I try to get by each day by accepting my memories...I turn them over...I hold them in my heart and rock them gently...As I have gotten older I can even accept them as being part of who I am...but nonetheless come November my thoughts become muddled...

Today, I am feeling better...although today is a birthday of sorts for me...it is a day when I really know that I can put others before myself...it is a day when I realize that sometimes the hardest things we do are also the things we do with the most love...it is a day when my life changed so many years ago...

Today, I focus on love...instead of feeling helpless...today, I remember the goodness of life...today, I hold myself upright and feel my truth...today, I allow some tears, but smile deeply...today, I am a grown woman who knows that all I have gone through in my life has brought me to this place and time...and today, I am happy...today, I will celebrate life and love.

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 16 Sharing a Poem

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!


Rudyard Kipling

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 15 In the moment...

I am starting to take hold of my own financial situation...I will admit it...I have not been the one to do this in the past...it was always done for me until the past few years when I had to do it...but now, I am looking a head to the future a bit more...but I realize that although it is important to save and plan, it is almost as important to live in the present moment...

I am taking this moment to arrange certain financial things because it is the RIGHT time...because it will help me in the long term...

Having survived the past 4 years what I realize the most is if I release myself into the moment of the day...that I am actually preparing myself for the future...For I am aware that things happen in life...that you really cannot prepare yourself for the unexpected...

So...I am starting to take hold of things that I use to leave to others... knowing fully that there will still be situations that I will be totally unprepared for. I am releasing into the moment today... I am present...I am aware that change always happens. But by being in the present moment today I look for the balance between what needs attention and what doesn’t...

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 14 LOVE/HATE

Technology...I have a love/hate relationship with it!! Today, it seems to be on the negative side! I am taking an online class and I can't seem to get the video loaded for it...and when I do try to watch the video it is all choppy and broken sentences!
I have reloaded my software for quick time twice now...I have cleaned out the cookies...and cleaned up my server...SO WHY IS IT NOT WORKING?!?!?!

On the flip side...I love that I can meet people from all over the world...I love that I have information at my finger tips...I love that I can communicate and share who I am and what I do...

It's just that today is NOT one of those days!! So I am going back...I am taking a deep breath...And dog gone it....I am going to make this work!

OH YES...
LIFE IS GOOD!

#12 ... Choices

Over the years I have followed certain paths of silence...where I do not share my thoughts with others...how I am really feeling...I smile when I really don't want to....but I am making new choices....I am telling my truths when I need to...softly and gently allowing my thoughts and feelings to be released...I am making a mental shift that allows me to approach anything with fresh eyes, and I can make that choice at any time without being fearful...fearful that I will be rejected...fearful that people won't understand me...

I am starting new with these choices...Giving myself permission to show myself...reveal who I am...I am remembering to leave room in the process of new beginnings to be kind to myself...because it takes time to become accustomed to anything new...knowing with each new choice of exposure I learn...I grow...I move forward.
I am moving forward...without fear.

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 10 Compass

I wear a beautiful silver locket around my neck on most days, the last gift that Michael ever gave me...within that locket is not a picture, but rather it is a small compass...a compass given to me so I will always be able to find my way...As I sit here today playing with that locket...opening it...closing it...feeling the smoothness of the circle and the beauty of the design...I relax and ask myself what do I need to be aware of today.
...and I realize that I need to be aware that I also wear it to remind me of my own inner compass...

Sometimes I look for answers outside of myself...I ask advice of others and although at times it is helpful I realize that it is only partially helpful...that by getting back into this ritual of asking myself questions each morning I am once again seeing that the answers to my personal questions can most often be found by looking within...that I always have access to the part of myself that knows what I need and is my own inner compass. I am re-learning to hear, trust, and embrace the wisdom that lives within me...several times within the past month I have seconded guessed myself...listened to someone else and did not follow my own inner compass...only to find that I would not have had to do things twice if I had just had that faith in myself...once again realizing that when I second guess myself I go against myself...allowing me to easily go off course because I am not following my own inner compass....

So, this beautiful silver necklace...this compass... will serve as a reminder to myself...
...look inside...you are your best guide...you know the why's and the how's...all you have to do is start to answer your own questions!

LIFE IS GOOD!

# 6 Grateful...

Here it is early November and the weather is beautiful today...a chance to get outside and enjoy the splendor of it...taking time to be grateful for this day...
Which brings me to the decision of taking these writings in the form of Gratitude on Sundays...

Today, I am over come with a feeling of warmth...and the willingness to find ways to share that with those that I love by letting them know how I feel. Letting them know how grateful I am to have them in my life...and promising myself to open myself up more...letting them know that I value them...

I am choosing to be conscious about how and when I express my feelings...and I am doing that more openly lately...believing that the more I do this the stronger my relationship with others will eventually become...

Today, I am grateful for the opportunity to know and share love.

LIFE IS GOOD!

#5 Polly Anna

As a kid my favorite movie was Polly Anna (the one with Haley Mills)...I had the doll that was my best friend at the time and I just loved her way of thinking...I have been accused of looking at life in a "Polly Anna" sort of way over the years...And I will say that I am very proud of the fact that I look at things with "rose colored glasses" more often than not!

So, why am I writing about Polly Anna...because an observation was made that perhaps I am masking the feelings of grief (or at least masking the feelings of all I have been through in the past 4 years) masking them by "thinking" that I am moving forward when really I just might be covering them up...confusing them...running away from them..

As I sit with myself this morning and roll this over...I am honest with myself and I do feel myself moving forward...I feel myself moving toward a different way of life...and it makes me happy...it makes me laugh with a sense of freedom....it makes me smile...writing is a form of self discovery for me...and as I write this I know that I am not substituting the here and the now because I really want to escape...That even though I have times when I still feel pain and fear I know that I allow those feelings...I do not hide from them...avoid them or mask them...

So to answer myself and the observation...

I AM moving forward with a smile on my face and a song in my heart...bright sunshine and blue skies...(as Polly Annaish as that may sound!! LOL)

LIFE IS GOOD!