#5 Polly Anna

As a kid my favorite movie was Polly Anna (the one with Haley Mills)...I had the doll that was my best friend at the time and I just loved her way of thinking...I have been accused of looking at life in a "Polly Anna" sort of way over the years...And I will say that I am very proud of the fact that I look at things with "rose colored glasses" more often than not!

So, why am I writing about Polly Anna...because an observation was made that perhaps I am masking the feelings of grief (or at least masking the feelings of all I have been through in the past 4 years) masking them by "thinking" that I am moving forward when really I just might be covering them up...confusing them...running away from them..

As I sit with myself this morning and roll this over...I am honest with myself and I do feel myself moving forward...I feel myself moving toward a different way of life...and it makes me happy...it makes me laugh with a sense of freedom....it makes me smile...writing is a form of self discovery for me...and as I write this I know that I am not substituting the here and the now because I really want to escape...That even though I have times when I still feel pain and fear I know that I allow those feelings...I do not hide from them...avoid them or mask them...

So to answer myself and the observation...

I AM moving forward with a smile on my face and a song in my heart...bright sunshine and blue skies...(as Polly Annaish as that may sound!! LOL)


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